Dear Reader:

Authentic is generally defined as genuine, real, actual, original, not false or copied, self-authored or endorsed.

To be one’s authentic self entails being true to one’s character; displaying a public image that is aligned and consistent with personal values, beliefs, goals, etc.

Recently I completed a process of self reflection that challenged me to evaluate my authenticity. It was an enlightening experience. Most of us have experienced at least one moment in life when we felt that we were pretending to be someone we are not. For some that feeling is limited and situational, for others, it can become so persistent, it is hard for even them to tell what is real.

I discovered that I had begun to lose balance on the character continuum in my life. I came to the realization that I have been living a more out of character (and less authentic) public life than I would like. The challenge is that, like many people, I have spent so much time monitoring my public self I had forgotten who I am at the core. Taking the time to evaluate the inconsistencies between my life priorities and public presentation was helpful, but it only brought me to the contemplation stage of change.

Whether I was afraid to rock the boat, or perhaps just uncertain how to begin, I made the mistake of sitting apathetically in contemplation for too long and that lack of balance caught up with me. I lost someone valuable in my life because I brought my inauthentic public self home.

That hurtful challenge has been a catalyst for action in my life. I have begun to inventory my personal and public self and weed out the inconsistencies. Being authentic, however, is a risky undertaking. Allowing the world around us to see us as we truly are means that when others disagree with us, or even dislike us, their discontent is “personal.” Conversely, it also means that you can trust that the people who like and respect you, are appreciating the real you.

Each of us has personal traits, experiences, relationships, and social and environmental influences that contribute to our character. Your authentic self is the unique combination of all those qualities including skills, abilities, talents, interests, insights, experiences, memories, beliefs, purpose, and wisdom. When we live a life consistent with our authentic selves we are in character.

Self reflection can help us evaluate those things from the past and present that have an impact upon who we are today, and can help identify priorities to determine who we want to be.

For now,
Tami C. Soper